Official Crimes in Florida
1. In code Z-530, Section 4, Para. 15, it states that it is a CRIME to help the helpless/useless people in Florida.
2. It is illegal to shoplift things in Florida, unless they are crocs. If you shoplift crocs, you are really doing everyone a favor. On behalf of all the peoples in Florida, for the brave few, thank you.
3. It is illegal to saddle up and try to ride an alligator in Florida. This shouldn't really have to be made a rule but it is. We're not Alabamian's, Florida. Keep it classy.
4. When on the road again, if you are about to enter Alabama, if a cop pulls you over and you are listening to Lynyrd Skynyrd's "Sweet Home Alabama", he/she is, by law, requirred to let you go. And if you request for them to dance with you on the side of the grassy road, he/she is required to.
5. If you decide to break the law, you will go to jail. That is the law here, Floridians.
6. If you go to Church's chicken on their special Tuesday night, it is required for you to give some of your chicken to a neighboring homeless man. Why do you think that holy place has sales on Tuesdays anyways? Because if the homeless haven't eaten since Sunday's Mass Brunch afterwards and no food Monday, they must be starving!
7. If you are reading this, you must tell the person you love "Shakabadalingagoobla". It's gibberish for something but a requirement in Florida. Obviously.
8. If you are going to live in Miami or somewhere nearby, it is illegal for you to NOT know Spanish.
9. No Drinking and Driving.
10. Always wear your seatbelts.
THANK YOU AND GOD BLESS.